Last Stage of the Citric Dairy Diary - Riga to Warsaw

We woke up far far too late, no one had set an alarm clock and everyone was tired. Toni woke up about 11am and cooked breakfast for us, he had a poker tournament on at 8pm and doesn't like night driving much. I still had to pick up my sleeping bag and do a bit of shopping but we just decided to forget about everything, including a shower and Martyna looked incredibly rough.. I think she just went in her pijamas haha.

Stopped in Bauska on the way down, for a few more boxes of cigarettes and then headed for Kaunas where Toni got a coffee, I did some more "shopping" and Martyna just strolled around in her pijamas looking pregnant and liked she'd escaped from a mental ward haha.

Straight down to the Polish border and stopped twice for coffee and got to Warsaw for around 9pm.. Not bad. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, we didn't hear from the Spaniard and the French guy may or may not have been waiting for us at the hostel, he'd agreed to come with us but he was rather drunk at the time and knocked over a chair and then disappeared from the bar, with or without his jacket/passport.. we're not sure.

Lemons and Milk on the Move - Stage 4 - Tartu to Riga via Viljandi

We had some breakfast with Tonu, took a couple of photos and then headed for Tartu centre where we met up with Babushka, she showed us some places to buy dictionaries, postcards, Vana Tallinn and a bit of a sightseeing tour. Then we headed off for Viljandi, the 75km went fast.. probably because Toni had started driving fast again was cheerful to have an extra person in the car. We took a few photos of Viljandi and spent our last Eesti Kroner on some things (bananas I think, can't remember actually), then said good bye to Babushka and headed for the Latvian border.

My map showed a Latvian border directly below Viljandi, so we took that one.. it was dirt track for the last 20km and we only saw 1 car but all of a sudden we hit a shed at the border with a barrier across the road and a sign saying Latvia. There was also a dog but it was unclear whether he was a custom's dog or not, he spent most of the time trying to get into our car and trying to lick my face.

Over the other side of the border and we filled up on petrol, then picked up a russian speaking guy and took him to Valmiera, Toni had a former guest from Valmiera but it turned out she was in Riga, so we drove straight to Riga and went to Marcus's hostel. Toni met up with his friends and cooked us all a meal, whilst me and Martyna tried to recruit people for the journey down to Warsaw. She'd managed to convince a Spanish guy to come down, as he was heading for Krakow anyway and I managed to get a french guy roped in, promising him more weed than in Finland where he was currently studying.

We also met a German guy, who was travelling with some Erasmus students and one of them (a Mexican) managed to get stuck on the boat without a passport, all a bit strange! Then we went out partying together with another Latvian HC member and met up with some brazilian/german drunk guys... the brazilian dude was convinced he was pregnant, and all together a totally insane bloke.

Got back to Marcus's around 4.30 and crashed soon after.

Lemons on Tour - Stage 3 - Riga to Tartu

We left Riga well into the afternoon and Toni went insane, turning off the road at high speed because he'd seen his "Riga bus" - he collects his photo next to sightseeing buses. After that we drove up to Cesis, mostly eating crisps and singing the whole way. Had a little look around and photographed the place including some girl that everyone was taking pictures of because she was making a point of having her photograph taken.

That's where we split with Kruopa and Tuchkus, Tuchkus wanted to continue to Tartu but that grumpy old Kruopa forced him to go to Kaunas. Anyway just exiting Cesis and I realised I'd lost my passport, so we tip the whole car upside down looking for it and make the lithuanians look for it in their bags on their way back to Riga... it turns out it was in the small gap between boot and back seat.

After that we picked up some Latvian guy who was heading to Valmiera... and then we went over the border at Valga, which we somehow struggled to find (kept on hitting parts of walls in the town that marked the border).. the border crossing was kinda quick considering they'd probably never seen a Singaporean passport before. Just then we received a call from Babuhska, the Estonian girl - turns out she'd picked up my note and had decided to be our tourguide for the night. We got to Tartu met our host Tonu and his family (including very friendly dog), then we headed for the city centre, went to an Indian restuarant.. which was pretty damn awful. Met up with Babushka (who was visiting her.. yes, you guessed it.. Babushka), Toni told a lot of his jokes and then we headed home.. agreeing for another sightseeing tour in the light and to take her home to Viljandi on the way back to Riga.

Went back home and slept like a baby :)

Tandoor Lemons - Stage 2 - Kaunas - Riga

Toni comes round to Tomas's house with Martyna, Ruta & Tuchkus and we cook up an enormous breakfast using Toni's spices and Ruta's ginger. Legendary egg. Also had a chat with Tomas's father who thought we were frenchmen coming for the Lithuania v France football match... no no much better looking!

Tuchkus has decided to join us - so we're up to 5 people! Great! Then whilst we were waiting for him outside his house to pack a bag, Roy tells us he'd like to go to Vilnius and then head back to Poland.. hmm so that leaves another space in the car, and we can't have that.

After a little negotiating in quick Lithuanian, Tuchkus says Kruopa is coming too - but only as far as Latvia. We leave Kaunas kind of late after buying dictionaries and what not. We decided to cross the smaller border in order to have a look at Birzai.. we were the only ones there but they kept us at the border for over an hour, giving Toni's passport some strict studying and then telling him he needed an address to tell them that he was going to. So we rang Marcus who is illegally living in Latvia and had to give his address haha.

An hour later and a bit of fooling around with the RIGA sign as you enter (I.e. me putting my arse through the hole of the G) and we started to meet up with some people. First one is Marcus who takes us to the Old Town Hostel where we met up with about 6 or 8 others. A good night apart from some moronic Latvian baby skinheads shouting abuse at Toni. Around 1 or 2, we headed for the hostel that Marcus worked at, so that Martyna could have a shower. That's where me and Tuchkus started recruiting for a replacement for Kruopa. We met an Estonian girl who was heading back to Tartu herself the next day.. and tried to convinve her to show us around Tartu for some babushka rock concerts. She was nearly up for it but the last words which were from Marcus "yes, they're all bastards".. didn't sound like she'd want to come along. I left a note downstairs at the reception with our phone number on just in case, she changed her mind.

A girl called Anda had agreed to host me and Toni in order to take some of the weight out of Marcus's house.. well we went to hers at 4am, after having had a 15 minute conversation in messed up English and Russian with her friend Cristina, who I thought had 2 children but I think only had a child who was 2 years old. Ended up talking about Eleja of all things, since it was close to where she worked in Jelgava! When we got home, Anda asks "you don't mind sharing do you"... hmm it was the day Warsaw no.1 and 2 slept together and I tell you, there's not much to be desired in the Tomato flavoured crisps belly of Warsaw no.2! About 2 or 3 hours later, it was time to leave already, Anda's cousin was coming around and might have felt uneasy in our company, so we dropped her off at work and then went to Marcus's. It's actually the first time in a while that I've had 2 hosts for 1 night. Marcus's toilet is one of those platformed ones, so lacking in sleep, I for some reason photographed the evidence to show him later.

The Lemon Tree Party in the Tonimobile - Stage 1.. Warsaw - Kaunas

Well on Tuesday 20th, Toni says to me "I'm bored in Warsaw and want to go somewhere", I said "let's go to Latvia, I need dictionaries and cigarettes", so we try to recruit a few more people and set off from Warsaw on Thursday morning, with a bag full of food, some CD's, me, toni, martyna and an englishman called Roy that Ula has sent to us..

Toni has a new style of driving, about 100km/hr slower than last year and Martyna's on the verge of giving birth to a german.. that's never good. We make it up to the Lithuanian border Ogrodniki by lunch time and head for Druskininkai.. which is going under an enormous amount of refurbishment. In fact the whole town was in a right old mess, but Toni took a few photos and the pregnant one went for a piss. After an hour there, we headed for the Soviet Park on the way to Merkine... plenty of Lenin/Stalin statues and even one of them wrapped up in huge black plastic bags which kind of gave the impression that Lenin was a kinky sod. It's a nice park, a little pricey to get in though.

Then up to Kaunas, Kruopa had sorted us some hosts out so I directed Toni to the supermarket near her house and we meet in the centre with Tuchkus & Ruta before heading to a "Jump Up" concert in a local bar. It's all very strange to be in Lithuania and not drinking btw.... Tomas later arrived, a cool young guy who hosted me and Roy. I've been to Kaunas quite a lot of times, so nothing special to go looking for.

No drinking.. Sheize

Hmm, so I've not put anything on here for ages.. mostly because I was organising a big trip to Africa which at the moment has failed to materialise.. well I guess I just don't do planning. Everything almost ready to go and I end up with liver, gall bladder and kidney problems - mostly from drinking and not saying hello to monsieur le toilette as often as I should. The old liver is twice as big as it should be and the gall bladder almost 3 x the size of a regular one...bloody killing after the Ultra Sound Jelly lark. The doctors orders were for rest, pills and no beer... as strange as it sounds, it seems to have done the trick.

and the president is.... a mouthful

Turkmenistan confirm that Gurbanguly Mälikgulyýewiç Berdimuhammedow was the winner of the presidential ellection... don't know why I mentioned that really.

I'm off to the dermatologist later to find out what's up with my skin (although it seems to be getting better actually, I still think it was flea bites from a cat), I'm having a legendary Valentinki at the moment... also got some news from an English bloke that he's interested in hitching with me next month. He'll be popping round the Warsaw next week... googled a post on the HC hh forum and I found this..

MISSING RUSSIAN HITCHHIKER - http://serber.by.ru/english.html

In fairness, it's a bit mad to hitch through the old Afghanistan at the moment and the Russians are the only ones I know who do it. Well here's hoping that the guy is alive and just a "wee bit stoned in Afghanistan".

No wonder people don't go back to Sudan

Looking at getting my Sudanese visa before heading on this trip because last time attempt in Cairo was a bit of a pain in the arse and I could never get to the embassy in time after nights in the Stella (legendary bar in Cairo).. there's no Sudan embassy in Poland and I'm not going to Germany, I thought about sending my passport to UK but the bastard embassy there says it will take 1 month.. woah. Not only that but they charge Sudanese, 22 pounds for a visa for their own country, what on earth is going on there!?!

The Syrian visa also poses a pain in the arse here in Warsaw but I had a similar problem last time in Turkey in that I could never get to the embassy in time, being the lazy git I am. Ho hum. I'm working on a couple of other visas which are cheap and easy to get here and will save me time arseing around elsewhere.

Still got the itchiness, went to a pharmacy and they looked horrified and called me a chicken.. hmm off to the dermatologist tomorrow. Talking of chickens, I had a beer in KFC today and it seems they've finally changed the barrell, it seems no one else drinks there so it's bloody horrible. (that's probably why, come to think of it).

Another 3 girls (12/13 y.o) raped by a CS member (guest) who was in Latvia, bloody hell. Makes me want to join Servas!

Itchy and Engaged

Ah, forgot to mention that it's the first time I've been to Zakopane since 1996 and it hasn't changed much really. Well today, it's official that me and the Mrs Dangaroo are engaged. She's got a ring and everything.. and it wasn't from one of those slot machines either.. At this rate, she might be a widow before we're married.. my itching is not good!! It had calmed down but it's a bit out of control today, had a look on the internet to what it could be and apparently I'm not yellow enough for liver failure so that's good.. but what the fuck could it be. I was quite amused to find that djdirect (Paul) had measles, I'll be pissed off if I get it too. Well I think I'll go to the doctors tomorrow and find out. I've got a new backpack by the way, it's my 4th in 4 years, it's the most expensive and looks pretty top quality, add to that it's bright green which makes it good for hitching.

I'm getting some visas next week ;).

Zakopane

Hitched down to Zakopane on Tuesday, longest wait was in Warsaw.. about 40 minutes, after that we got a car to Radom and a ride immediately from a truck driver to Krakow, caught a bus a little bit out of a center and hitched the last car down to Zakopane, took about 7hrs in all.. not too bad. Spent 3 nights there, drinking beer (had stopped for a day or two but started to get itchy so thought some beers would help), walking around, eating lots of cheese... spent some time with our host there, a guy who had worked in London for 4 months, we were staying at his grandparents in Szaflary most of the time.. about 20km from Zakopane and either hitching in or getting the local bus.... one night, we met some old friends of Sylwia's and went to a reggae concert... left the place at 10.30 and that was it, no transport back to Szaflary, so hitched our way up to Bialy Dunajec and after that.. nothing! Grrr... supposedly it's 3km from Bialy Dunajec to Szaflary but they are both pretty long and we were at opposite ends of either place, so we ended up walking 7km along an icy, dark road with cars flying passed us every so often.. bit dangerous but we made it home.

Only, what's this... the house is locked. Bollox! Try knocking on the door and nothing, there's no chance they can here us and for some reason the dog is being totally useless and not barking! I ring Wojtek at 1am to ask him how to get in contact with his parents, he's like "umm.. knock louder" but it would seemed he telephoned them and they did open up in the end :). Ah, bed at last!

To save some time on Saturday, we caught the night bus back on Friday.. not many people on it actually, I used Sylwia's scarf as a sort of pillow against the window and somehow managed to lose it, I have a little look for it and guess what... the fool behind us is using it.. git! He dropped it too though and I managed to pick it up afterwards, even so - what a git.

Red eyed back to Poland

So, I managed to get my flight to Toulouse.. bloody german buses grrr, I sneaked onto the back of one heading to the Hamburg airport and hoped to get away without paying but the bus driver shouted "will the ugly bloke with a big nose please get to the front and pay for his fahren karten"(something like that).. 3.90 euros for a 3km journey, disgraceful!!!

Spent Friday and Saturday at my parents by Villefranche, not doing much.. just playing table tennis and eating a lot really. Was able to get my hands on my money for the first time in ages... still left a bit of money in my bank account though and sent off for a new bank card again, hopefully it will turn up this time. I'm furious to find out that they are still charging me high prices for withdrawing money.. it doesn't show on the internet bank statements but it does on the paper copies. Oh, how I wish I was with Nationwide (they won't let me, say I'm too good looking).

Flew back to Hamburg on Sunday with tonnes of cash and didn't want to hitch with a load of money (actually I just couldn't be arsed), so headed to Berlin by train.. an insanely expensive ride which we won't talk about too much. Went to visit my Colombian mate Camilo :), spent the night watching punk dvd's and smoking some very good weed, ended up totally destroyed by the time I fell asleep and woke up in the morning at 5 to get the first train to Warsaw, in a pretty happy way. Incidently - snus (latvian girl) who I haven't seen for about 18 months was also staying at Camilo's, only she was too busy shagging her date to gift us her presence.

Passed over the border with cartoon eyes and slept it off all the way to Warsaw... I'm here now, just sorted a couple of things out and heading down to the mountains first thing tomorrow morning.

No lust for Ludwig - Mad hitch to Hamburg

Hmm, armed with a fucked up nose and my Poznan sign I headed to the suburbs to hitch to Germany. 30 minutes later and a truck driver picked me up, after a while I discover that he´s heading all the way to Germany and will drop me off on the Berliner Ring.. perfect. We stop for an hour in Glowno (small Polish village near the beginning of the motorway), he asks if I´m coming out or staying in the truck.. thinking we were heading to the trucker´s bar, I agreed to come but I didn´t know we were going for a hike through Glowno looking for the police station to get some paperwork and then stocking up on sausages! Over an hour later, we return from the snow and get going again. As it gets darker, he realises that he won´t make the border in time for his rest, so we stop off at the BP garage just 2km from Nevada (legendary truck stop), waiting there on the corner of the road in the dark (for some reasons the lights around me weren´t working) wasn´t perfect but eventually a guy going to Rzepin stopped. He dropped me off at the last petrol station before the roads split and the hitching becomes a catasrophy (apparently).. hmm this station was no Nevada but a dodgy dodgy place full of drugged road prostitutes and a very drunk/stoned pimp who was being generally abusive and hit one of the girls in the face, then walked over to me and seemed to want to do the same but one of the girls managed to calm him down. It wasn´t an ideal place to get a ride from but things don´t get any better any closer to the border, they just get darker. The police came and the pimp with two of the girls went into hiding, not quite sure what they were in trouble for but they were running around the station hiding behind all the trucks before they eventually got caught and taken away.

After that it all calmed down, the well behaved girls which were allowed to stay by the police, were at a seperate area to me and it wasn´t long before a car stopped but it was a crazy skinhead guy who got a bit pissed off by the fact I was heading for Germany. Few minutes later and a small truck stopped, ah saviour! A nice dude from Warsaw who spoke good English, German and Polish.. his wife was an English teacher and he had a small business, he dropped me off at the Orlen station just before the border after trying to get rides for me on his CB radio.

Walk to the border and over it and this German Border guard starts shouting at me, however - he´s a happy fellow and just wants to help me get a lift.. so the first car he asks took me to Michendorf.. hmm I hate the Berliner Ring, it´s not the ideal place to get a ride to Hamburg and surprisingly it´s empty. I decide to walk in to Michendorf and find the local train station, not too difficult but I went flying down a bank which I thought was a path and turned out to be a water run-off... I also noticed steps opposite.. bollox.

Arrived 10 minutes before one of the last trains to Berlin, great.. no one checks tickets at this time on an empty suburb Berlin train.. straight to Berlin HBF and then get the S-bahn to Pankow is the idea. However.. I get to Gesundbrunnen and the fucking S-bahn finishes (eh, I don´t remember it closing for a few hours?!) oh well.. I have a two hour walk to Pankow and then there´s still nothing happening so I walk a bit further and wait for a few hours in the cold. By now it´s 5 am and I´m a bit pissed off, not to mention freezing, so I remembered there was a train leaving Berlin Hbf at 5.59, hop on to a bus, then the early morning S-bahn and back to HBf, where I was about 4.5 hours before.

I have to get to Hamburg for this flight which leaves at 12:10 and the train would get in to Hamburg at 8-00.. not bad! The plan was to pretend that I had lost my ticket and hope that people would help me around me, gah.. the guy didn´t check for about 35 minutes and then went crazy at me and told me I had to get off.. non of these early business morning commuting cunts would help me, even though I was trying to explain I#d miss my flight. Bastard people! I get thrown off in Wittenberger, walk around trying to find my way out and finally get a lift to Perleberg, where another car picks me up.. he#s heading somewhere near Ludwiglust (the only place on my map) but he said that I´d never get to Hamburg in time so took me to a truck depot where a truck was leaving for Kiel. Turns out he meant at 9.30 and not 8.30. By the time, it was loaded and we left it must have been about 10. FUCK, I´ve missed my flight :(

The guy dropped me off at a service station, where it was impossible to get a lift.. not sure if it was because of my fucked up nose, because I looked like shit or what but a fat woman agreed to take me before realising she had to go to the restaurant first..she said if I was still there when she came out, she´d take me but she must have forgotten about me because she just drove off. GRR! Eventually a nice british guy took me to Hamburg and dropped me off quite close to Felix´s house. AH, I´d given up on the idea of hitching down to Switzerland and onwards, it would never work as Pinnochio.

I´ve booked another flight for Friday and I#m just hanging around Felix#s place until tomorrow morning without any money! ha, what a nice guest.