Winston's hiccup, my burp

What have I been upto? Hmm.. well working mainly and then went out to the Pizza Dominium, had some good beer, pizza and garlic bread, Sylwia on the contrary ate a popeye version of lasagna.. it was called lasagna but consisted of 80% spinach.. bizzare. Now I'm back home, drinking some beers and watching one of those American war films that everyone thinks is wonderful. Ah I was searching on the internet today and came across this Andy (www.hobotraveller.com).. now he might be an alright lad but he comes across as fucking irritating. If I meet him on the road (highly unlikely since his idea of adventure is girls that apparently shower not so often in Paris), I'll sort him out don't worry.

Also came across this..

Winston's Hiccup: The strange kink in the eastern border between Jordan and Saudi Arabia is known as 'Winston's Hiccup', supposedly because Winston Churchill drew the boundary of Transjordan after a more than satisfactory lunch. The story, unfortunately, is a myth.

A satisfactory lunch huh.. he certainly wasn't eating the spinach (shit boil in a bag spinach at that) lasagna was he.

I've made a full recovery now, I knew beer would do the trick.. off to the chompalooloo's tomorrow (the dentists) and after that.. wahey, who knows. Well I have an idea but I'm keeping it under my armpit for now.

Right, I'd just like to ask my readers to READ THIS:

http://www.protectseals.org/

No need for that at all is there? BASTARDS. Help out by signing the pledge.

The Spice of Life

A little ditty I just wrote:

The spice of life
Is a life of spice
I wish I'd ordered much more rice

It was hot going in
It was hotter going out
My arse is on fire
So pass me a wet trout

I was out last night with Martyna, her mate Ania, this Turkish guy from HC and bloody Adam Ostrenga... woh-oo-oh we're in the army now. He's a disgrace that guy, got us thrown out of the first bar more or less for pissing off some skinheads with his loud American whaleing, then he starts mollesting the shit out of this Ania girl, so she asks me to sit next to him. Brilliant, the thing with Adam is, he's not that much of a bad lad but his breath is disgraceful and he chose this moment to ask the girls if they could say..

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickling pepper
A peck of pickling pepper Peter Piper picked
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickling pepper
Where's the peck of pickling pepper Peter Piper picked?

Apart from the fact it's fucking annoying, he spat all over me for every single P! Unbelievable.

After the drinking, I popped over to Luksor Kebab with the Turkish dude, he was looking for Halal meat, if he can't find it.. he doesn't eat meat... so basically he's been a vegetarian in Poland and as I was in the mood, I thought I'd have a spicy kebab, oooh my arse feels it now. I'm enjoying my kebab and grooving to some Tarka when this guy comes in and goes "FUCK IT'S YOU", I have no idea who the guy is but he seems to know me, apparently he knows me through some girl called Kasia.. Perhaps she is an HC member, I'm not sure.. maybe she's a friend of Ania (sicherheitsnadel) and Ewa. He for some reason thought that Jason lived with me, I think I perhaps met the guy at this insane party involving 4 bowls of vodka jelly. Anyway, the guys keen to share a bag full of beers with me, so he's not a bad guy.

Rang my mate Paul's uncle (the messiah), last night to ask him what "the blue drink with coffee beans that you light and I normally fuck it up" (Sambucca) was called, he was a bit surprised to hear from me. Fucking hell were his exact words lol.

Just a bit of info for you, if you want cheap flights.

Lose weight, find an albatross... err

www.whichbudget.com - has tonnes of cheap flights between destinations, useful
www.point-afrique.com - paris to loads of african cities (and vice-versa) - cotonou, lome, ouagadougou, noukachott etc for 170 euros one way.

Snowflake (gay name I know) are flying Copenhagen to Cairo for 75 euros, not bad that.

I wouldn't mind flying down and crossing in to Libya, up to Malta and hitch back visting Vatican, San Marino and Liechenstein.. never been to Copenhagen, Libya or the latter trio. I love Cairo, it's a fucking crazy place.

In the dog house

oh oh, everything was going well last night.. Sylwia had passed exams, I popped out for a little bit and came back in the early morning, pissed as a rat after a little pub crawl around Jana Pawla (there's nice cheap beer there) if you're in the vicinity.. start off at the pub opposite A Petit by Kino Femina.. Okocim for 5zl, used to be 4.. but someone has to pay the bill for los diablos (a legendary old guy with a keyboard), often looks full but there's plenty of seats upstairs... if you really want to do the full tour, pop over to KFC, there is beer for 4zl there but the pipes are a bit dirty and the girls don't know how to pour beer. Then down to Diver's Pub - Krolewskie for 5zl.. Zywiec is pricey though. Move on to Biba Bar, beer is 6zl there unless it's happy hour. Dominica the girl that runs it there, is an easy-going girl.. except for when foolish cornish people put telephones in beers. There tends to be reasonably good music played there.

Extensions of this little drinking area: pop in to Pizza Dominium for a beer and a pizza, on the otherside of the road there's Giuseppe's (a crappy disco place with lots of skinheads and some karaoke nights), the last kebab place on the way back to Kino Femina also serves beer at a cheap price and has a few slot machines. There's a few bars just off Jana Pawla on a small side street just before the Greek restaurant. Another thing you can do is go to any of the alcohol shops, buy some beers and take them in to Luksor Kebab, the guy working there at night is an Iranian guy who lets you drink in there and talk utter bollox to him. There's often drunk youngsters in there and it doesn't take long to get invited to a house party.

So that's my little write up on the swinging nightlife of Kino Femina.. and I didn't even mention the cinema.

Anyway basically got wasted and forgot to ring home, had about 12 missed calls when I checked and Sylwia was not happy. Bloody good night though, I love bars. Will have to make up for it somehow, I'M YOUR PRIVATE HAMSTER, DANCING FOR MONEY, ANY OLD MUSIC WILL DO!

My brother thinks he's a chicken. We'd tell him he isn't but we need the eggs.

Blummin 'eck

You lovely readers are probably awaiting an update from the continent of jungle music, well.. it's not going to happen.. not yet.

Here's a little update..

I left the house after writing the last blog, waited for Martyna at Metro Ratusz, called her to ask her where the hell she was, turns out she's waiting at Kino Femina (it's one tram stop apart) but what she's doing there.. I don't know! So I tell her, if I am on the no.26 tram.. jump on it. Turns out a no.26 has just left before I get to the little platform and she embarks it and rings me to see if I'm on it.. I say no, she gets off it but bloody hell, now we're two tram stops apart. I jump on the next tram heading her direction but there's one of the ticket control guys on it and as I never have a ticket, find it a wise decision to jump off... fuck my ankle up a bit in the process though.

Finally get up to Wola Ratusz to meet her and then get the tram no.26.. by the way for hitchhikers this is how you should get to the hitching place West...

Tram no.26 from Ratusz metro stop
Tram no.10 from Central Station

until the stop "Fort Wola" then walk over to the bus stop and get 713 until it leaves the main road (2nd last stop)

713 was bloody late, so we ended up waiting at the bus stop for a chuffing long time.. hitching wasn't a big problem, it took about 30 minutes to get a ride to Poznan... it's normally a bit faster but there was a single girl hitching just behind us, so she stole our ride.. still, I bet she had to give head ;-).

The driver is taking quite a slow route to Poznan so we decide to get off at the Toll (bit where you pay) on the Konin-Pniewy motorway, within seconds we got a lift from two gay guys in a van.. YMCA came on the radio, they loved it.

They dropped us off at the motorway services just before Poznan.. I always end up there grrr, not that many people use the motorway in Poland so it's a bit of a pain in the arse to get a lift there.. finally got a lift from a trucker heading to Bremerhaven in Germany.. legendary guy but because it was the weekend he couldn't travel on the motorway there, so was heading to Nevada (it's a great trucking stop just before the border).. beer for 3zl and cheap grub, I love the place. I'd had a few beers that I bought in Warsaw, on the way to Nevada.. so I was well up for some drinking by the time we arrived. Got out on the road after 4 hours of drinking with the guy, decided it was time for some food.. so just popped across to the place on the other side of the road and ordered some Bigos and Potatoes plus.. some eggy soup, great! I love this place.

Tried hitching for a bit but decided to go into the petrol station and ask drivers, got a ride from this chap in a BMW playing metal :-), nice guy... he was heading to Hannover, poor guy got pulled for speeding just on the other side of the German border (on the autobahn) and fined 200 euros, the police are a bit cuntish around there, always looking for polish drivers to fine because there are certain areas of the motorway where you can only go 130km. We missed the turning to Konigs Wusterhausen because Martyna was sleeping and the driver thought I was insane... I'm like cekaj, martyna wakey wakey, pomoc pomoc kurwa! (translates to wait, martyna wakey wakey, help, help, whore) lol, anyway the guy drove on to the next petrol station and we hopped over the motorway to the other side and hitched a ride from another pole, back up to the Konigs Wusterhausen exit. The guy asks where we want to go and I'm like "right", martyna for some reason tells him to go left.. bloody useless that girl! So we have to walk back another km and then towards the S-bahn in Konigs Wusterhausen, I'm getting a bit ill now.. coughing lots of phlem up, we popped into a petrol station and I asked a guy if he was going anywhere near an S-bahn stop.

I hate asking germans questions, if you ask anyone else they're like "yes" or "no".. these guys get a map out, start drawing scales on the floor with their feet and what not. After 10 minutes of fooling around, basically the guy is going. The lad in the front doesn't look too well, he's sleeping in a "I'm a bit of heroin addict" way. Turns out he's been at a party and had a few too many, didn't quite realise how many until he winds down the window and pukes this red stuff all over Martyna's window.. lovely, she deserved that haha!!

Got the S-bahn up to Wedding where Perry my mate and host is at, but I'm feeling well shit, shivering and sweating and coughing up a lot of crap. Meet some guy at the s-bahn who wants a fag, he speaks in a really shit Brummy accent, would be good company for Alexei! Eventually Perry turns up, he's a legend that chap.. takes us to the place where the party is at. We've got a bottle of vodka for him and so the party begins, some insanely drunk guy (non hc I will add), puts a plastic bag full of weed smoke over his head and starts trying to suffocate himself.. a total nut job. Perry's flat mate Krystof.. is like ok gay boy, get the bag off your head now.. he goes crazy "FUCK OFF ZISS IS MY PERFORMANCE".. it's nice to see the boys from Poznan (falk mit trabant and Jens), meet some new faces Gru, Krystof and another dude with glasses. The boy with the bag over his head buggers off on his bicycle, which makes for quite an intersting sight.

We pop back to a Kebab place and then go back to Perry's, boy I could do with a sleep I feel shit. I basically slept for 24 hours, woke up a few times, coughing and spluttering phlem ( i mean real dark green.. hardcore phlem and a bit of blood), got up once and fell over, shaking like a leaf (with a vacuum cleaner hovering over it) and sweating more than a sumo in a big microwave. In other words.. nicht healthy. The lovely Ieva, my mate from Lithuania pays Berlin a visit from Magdeburg, it's nice to see her.

Missed my flight to Spain during this sleeping lark, and decided to get the train back to Poland the next day.

Felt shit for the rest of the week, particularly on Friday when I wake up with a throbbing pain on one side of my face from my head to my teeth, swallow some pain killers and have a few beers but it still doesn't feel better.. I go to the dentist on Saturday and he gives me this kind of "bloody hell, been in a fight lately?" look, turns out my teeth don't close tight in the way they should, so they're all banging against each other causing pain, I need to get them straightened out with some braces (bollox I always took the piss out of kids with braces on.. calling them metal gob and waving magnets in their faces).

I go to the dentist today to meet the girl with the moulds, turns out she's Czech and doesn't speak any Polish or English, well what bloody use is that.. who does she cater for aliens?!?! So I'm heading back on Wednesday, bit annoying because my cold/cough thing is getting a bit better so I fancied going somewhere next week. Oh well, life is life (fucking hate that song)

Got pissed on Wednesday, now on my way to Berlin

Crikey! Wednesday was a good night, went out to Zielona Ges - a bar celebrating it's 12th birthday.. beer for 1zl, an offer that couldn't be refused, went with Sylwia, her friend Agnieszka and Martyna.. Martyna met some insane guy who wanted to marry her, but it was ok because he ordered 20 beers :-).

I got wasted on the 1zl beer, well into double figures, won a dvd player in a "put your name in to a box type game." Sylwia was overjoyed, I was hammered and would have preferred free beer at the time.

I bought some new jeans yesterday, seems they might be nicer than I thought! At the bar last night some girl kept on grabbing my ass everytime she walked passed, so I went up to her and told her she was a "nie dobry pies" (not a good dog).. I'd tried to get her to kiss some guy in the toilet before hand (well I shoved their heads together!).. she'd been in an "under the red cover" contest with him. Bizzare night, that culminated in me waking up, choking to death and puking this strange black stuff all over Sylwia almost.

Not good, great night though!

Now I'm hitching with Martyna to Berlin, but she's late as usual so I'm writing this.. we should be picking up Radek (meenzer) somewhere a long the way. Still got to get a sim card that roams.. by the way I didn't tell you guys where I'm off to, did I?

I'm hitching to Berlin, then taking a cheap flight to Malaga, hitching to Algeciras and then the boat across to Ceuta.. from where I'll travel down through Morocco, Mauritania, Mali, Burkina Faso and if I have time Ghana, Togo and Benin.

For info in the future.. it would have been cheaper to hitch to Sete, where there are boats at a reasonable price to Tangiers.

By the way, I have those google ad sense things on here now, so click on them and look interested. I'll buy you a beer!

Welcome - Bit of background info

Welcome readers,

I did keep a few rough blogs of the past two or three years of travelling but I doubt I'll sort it out and put them online.. sorry about that.

I'd like to introduce readers to www.hospitalityclub.org a great source of cool travellers. Here you can offer/receive (hopefully both!), hospitality and cultural exchange.. also has plenty of meetings in different towns around the world... where partying plays a big part! I use it a lot, if you need any help.. my username is "dangaroo"

Bit of background info:

I am currently living in Poland, with my beautiful girlfriend and dog and selling a wide selection of dictionaries, maps, books etc.

I was born in the UK, grew up in Portugal and then moved back for one year, deciding it was bloody boring..

So I decided to hitch-hike round Europe and Turkey, hitching through Netherlands, Germany, Czech Rep, Poland and then made plenty of friends in Lithuania, freezed my balls off hitching to Nord Kapp and back in the winter, spent several weeks travelling/constant drinking with an English fellow called Paul (djdirect), quality guy whose idea of travel literature is pornography.. we managed to get in to all kinds of trouble in Krakow, Budapest, Zagreb, a host of Croatian Islands, Dubrovnik, Montenegro and Beograd. He lost/spent all his money, I continued travelling through Albania, Macedonia, Bulgaria and ended up working at a hostel in Romania.. then to Bulgaria to do some scuba diving and hitch-hike to Turkey. Travelled around Turkey with an irritating Canadian girl, that I finally lost in Sanliurfa (really great city near Syrian border)..headed on towards Iran but didn't have enough money for the visa.. so I hitched back from Iran non-stop to the UK.. getting a nice lift from Beograd-UK from a friendly Turkish truck driver who almost blew his head off with a gas cooker.

Had planned to get a job and save up for some visas, but decided against it.. went back to Lithuania... hoping to work as an English teacher, but instead ended up spending most of the time drinking and having the most insane parties with some friends.. ended up living with them & a totally mad American LSD lover called Gardner who looked like a yetti and was banned from Latvia and the USA, not too mention Paul decided to move in and come back every night telling of us his fun and thrills in Broadveijus (crappy Lithuanian disco with hot but "fifa" girls).. eventually got so drunk that one morning, I decided I would leave the house and hitch-hike to Iraq, by the time I got to Krakow I changed my mind to hitch to Africa.. nearly died hitching in the rain with a t-shirt on in Bielsko Biala and ended up going back to Krakow and catching the train to Budapest where a girl decided to mollest me whilst talking to her boyfriend on the telephone.. very strange!!

Hitched Budapest-Salzburg-Genoa.. and then attempted to get a lift to France but no luck, so hitched my way down to Bari and caught the ferry to Greece.. where I ended up working in a hostel bar in Athens with some seriously mental alcoholics! Travelled to Cyprus for christmas, then to Egypt where I got various jobs including hustling for a travel agent in a local bar (Stella Bar - quality place, don't take your girlfriend though and every single person in the bar (apart from the guy working behind the bar.. will be trying to rip you off, 100% without a doubt!) and working in films as a white boy for some film mafia guy called Sadani (probably one of the ugliest men on earth.. who always asked me to ask him if he washed his ass with shampoo.. not sure what that was about!) If you want to meet him, go to the little alleyway by After Eight and ask around. Also watch out for Ashraqat who hangs out there.. gorgeous belly dancer girl, an absolute mad woman!

Couldn't work out whether to go to Sudan or Syria, so I flew to Thailand with the hope of working as an English teacher.. settled on buying fake t-shirts and flying back to the UK.

Then planned a hitch-hike to Afghanistan, but it didn't quite go ahead. I went up to Berlin for a big party, met a really cool hospitality club member called aozelis (from Lithuania) and ended up travelling with him for a couple of weeks, drinking our way around Poland, by the time I hit Warsaw.. I managed to get locked in my hosts' flat for a day where I had become acquainted with her cat, headed out to a bar, got absolutly wasted, scarred my ass and met a girl (Sylwia) with the craziest hair ever... who is now my girlfriend.. a good beer-drinking quality girl :-)

Got myself a flat in Warsaw, and a French flat mate who smoked more weed than the whole of Jamaica.. held parties every night for about 2 months, travelled to a Midsomer Party in Latvia and spent a while hitching around Czech Republic, Hungary and Croatia. Also spent 2 weeks having fun in Montenegro with Sylwia... by the way the Montenegrans seem to look down on skinny dipping at night. To be fair it was a bit cold, so I doubt they could see much in the way of the dangaroo tail.

Apart from that, spent most of the year concentrating on my business, future travels and a few trips here and there to various HC Parties.